Oo that's nice!

It's been so long since my last bloody blog post it's a whole new year. 

Firstly before pressing on with the real matters here's a little update as to why.

I blogged about gut feelings way back in April and hey, it turns out my gut was right. So in September things went kinda belly up however, I have learnt a bucket load and I mainly learned the importance of being nice. 

This right here is the main point. Told you it was a little update. 

Nice is a word that often gets scoffed at. Being described as nice or having nice as a personal quality isn't always deemed to be a good thing and is quite frequently said with a sneer of sarcasm and derision. 

In primary school a teacher told my class to try not to use nice as a describing word - that whole year any creative piece of writing sounds like it's written by a little pompous twerp with a ludicrous and grandiose vision on the world. She would have loved that sentence.

Is being nice really a bad thing though? Nice, the place, looks pretty fantastic. Nice biscuits are alright, bit of a marmite biscuit if I'm honest.

To me, being nice is a huge, huge deal. Nice guys finish last is just bollocks. Well, okay, maybe they will finish last but they will finish with a bunch of people urging them on, without a bad word being said about them and will leave this world with a lifetime filled with love and support and happy memories. 

Did I ever mention for a little time I was an agent's assistant? I was, it was pretty damned awesome. 

Anyway, when telling people who they could work with, a writer, for example, we would happily describe all their past achievements - who they'd worked for: 'yes they wrote for them too, small world eh?', yet the added sentence 'and you know what? they're a really lovely, genuine nice guy' often sealed the deal.

People don't want to work with or for assholes. We've all done those summer jobs that aren't great pay and always seem to have the boss from hell. 

People don't want to be friends with nasty people: 'Hey this is my friend, he's a great guitarist, complete dickhead though.'

I'd be thrilled to be described by anyone as a nice person. If that was someone's lasting impression of me then I have done something right in this world. 

It's really easy to not give a damn, comment not compliment, not smile on the bus etc and somedays it's harder than others to find something nice to say about someone and even more so yourself. Give it a try though. It's 2014, still new into the year so why not try and find something nice to say about yourself and then a friend?

Nice might be overused sometimes. It may not be said with much esteem. I like trying being nice, it's a fucking excellent quality to possess and true nice people seem to be becoming fewer and far between.

After all, when have you heard someone say 'let's have a simply superb, wonderfully blended cup of tea?'

Girls, Girls, Girls

If you hadn't noticed, realised or knew by now - and this may come as a surprise - I am a girl. A female. A lady. Not a man.

And being of said gender I have a group of 'girls' who are my closest alibis. There are three of them. Three beautiful ladies to whom I can have heartfelt conversations with, talk bollocks with, hang out, watch films, drink, go for lunch and all those wonderful things a friendship entails. I endlessly appreciate that I can send them a text about a TV show they've never watched, a picture of my cat or a cry for help. These are my 'girls' but you will never hear me say 'I'm going out with the girls' it doesn't feel comfortable rolling off my tongue.

I am also a fan of the HBO show 'Girls'. I like this show but I think the cons are on a par with the pros but hey, it's half an hour where I can sit back, have a little laugh and be simultaneously in so much awe and be so incredibly jealous of its' creator, Lena Dunham.  

If you have not watched Girls, there's a group of four girls in their early twenties living in New York City dealing with life, work, the future and their social lives. Each is a very distinct character but the lead is Lena's character of Hannah. I won't go in to the ins and outs of the show but I'm pretty sure you get the gist from that small description. They're very close to each other and extremely open and honest. That, is where the (one of the) problem lies.

They are extremely open and honest with each other.

Is this a bad thing you may ask? Probably not.
Is it just because you're not that open and honest? Possibly, probably.

Having discussed with my 'girls' (does putting it in quotations make it seem like I'm questioning if they are females or in fact, real? I stated why up there, I don't like using it) not being that open and honest is absolutely spiffingly great and it does not deter from our friendships.

Quite frankly, sharing a bath or bathing time with my best friend gives me the creeps - yes this happens on more than one occasion in this series. Shivers and crawly-feeling skin, the whole shebang. Perhaps, I like my privacy and that makes me the weirdo but the general consensus suggests otherwise. 

Since Sex and the City it feels as though there has been this pressure on groups of females who are friends to tell each other details of their sex lives, share everything, feel comfortable stripping naked in front of each other whilst still maintaining an average conversation. It is great for these characters but really is this how everything is or am I a repressed prude? I like to think I'm not but the fictional world of television has seeped into reality has it not. I'm fairly happy to discuss things honestly but only if necessary and I don't want to be hearing about other peoples sex lives really. I wasn't involved at the time, please don't involve me now. 

Being open and honesty is a great way to be. Yet, a little discretion goes a long way.

I love my girl friends, but I'd rather not see them naked. I'd prefer not to know what they get up to in the bedroom, I'm pretty sure we're old enough to assume we're doing the down and dirty  with our partners/choices in a safe way! There's honesty and laying everything out on the table. 

Or is there? 

I hope this isn't just how I and my friends feel, maybe we are the ones missing out on another level of friendship and closeness by not flaunting ourselves both physically and emotionally to each other? Yet, you can be open and honest and assume that your friends will also be making assumptions without you having to say a word. They'll know if you're sad through a text so they don't have to sit on the side of your bath tub. They'll know if you're having fun with your boyfriend or what have you because well, they ain't stupid. They'll know. They'll just know. As beautiful and sexy as they are, I like them in their clothes.

When it comes to Girls, Girls, Girls and honesty, I'll just rock out to Motley Crue.